EPISODE 004: Eating Kowalski

As we all witnessed recently [You were there, right?] our heroes ate some “tainted” Agaricus bisporus and fell captive to the inter-dimensional pull of the mysterious and mind-bendingly terrifying “Mushroom Man.”

We find ourselves now with Agent Kowalski, otherwise known as the Powerful Pig-Man. Kowalski has just landed, seemingly out of nowhere, across a dark void, and onto … an island.

This “island” is exactly the one you’re thinking of, the one you had nightmares of as a child. [If you don’t remember, that’s okay. You’re just suppressing the horror of the inner child]. Tribes sung of its existence long ago, even before Godzilla rose from the radioactive waters of Japan and they called it “Monster Island.”

Books have been written about the men, monsters, and mysteries that live on these beaches, caves, and dark jungles, books of castaways, pirates, treasure, and mad dark sciences ...

We've heard the madman “Frankenstein 9” calls the island “Retroshima,” some sort of codename no doubt, but we at the Society simply refer to it as “Mystery Island” as it holds no one location in space or time.

However, when that other crazy doctor, if you could call him a doctor, experimented with Karl Kowalski and a radioactive pig serum, well, he stuck with the classics. He told Karl the island was named after his ancestor: Dr. Moreau.

This time the island itself seemed to assaul Kowalski. No, that’s not quite right, eating Kowalski is more like it. The sand sucked and pulled on Pig-Man’s heavy body as if with slimy hands--motivated by a mud brain with nothing more than murder on its mind.

“Quicksand!” Pig-Man grunted. “That’s just fine, really swell. I’m gonna pull the top of that Mushroom Man’s head right off ...”

Karl felt a little bit like squealing, but held that emotion inside. Yet, when he heard a hacking sound coming from the darker part of the jungle lying right in front him, he didn’t feel any better. No. He had heard that sound before.

Whack! Thump! Whack! Slash!

The sound of a sharp blade cutting through branches.

As far as Kowalski knew, Dr. Marin Moreau had abandoned Mystery Island and his fully insane experiments with people and animals, ran is more like it, in fear of the Atlantis Corporation and a man they called “No. 1,” but the doctor had an assistant, a man named Sam. Sam was in charge of butchering the animals.

And Sam the Butcher was, is a very, very bad man.

Whack! Thump! Whack! Slash!

“Here little piggy! Here little piggy! I know you’re out there! Come out of hiding ... Ol’ Sam will show you the way home. Wee wee wee, all the way home. Here little piggy ...”

Whack! Thump! Whack! Slash!

To be continued ...

EPISODE 005: A Room Full of Spiders

SECRET SOCIETY: MONSTER ZIPPER by Bradley Mason Hamlin. Secret Society: American Strip Episode 004: "Eating Kowalski" published May 31, 2008 by Mystery Island. Copyright © 2008 by Mystery Island Publications. All rights reserved.