The Dwarves are:

Blag the Ripper
The Fresh Prince of Darkness
Chip Fracture
Wholley Smokes
Gregory Pecker

Lucy: We heard a rumor that Hewhocannotbenamed is really Paul McCartney? Please explain:

Blag: HeWho is all things to all people. He transcends notions of right and wrong, good and evil, Time and Space. Also, McCartney's got that cute little accent.

Lucy: We've been enjoying The Dwarves Must Die CD on Mystery Island. Tell us a little bit about that album:

Blag: It comprises all genres: punk, pop, hip/hop, experimental, garage, surf. We hit all bases with that one and included a bunch of cheesey celeb guests, too. No collection is complete without it.

Lucy: Did you have fun hooking up with the Suicide Girls?

Blag: The Suicide Girls appear on the FEFU video. They beat the shit out of me for 8 hours and when it was done, we had a video. They were very "accommodating."

Lucy: Tell us a funny Dwarves concert story.

Blag: If you weren't there, don't fuck with it.

Lucy: Do you get fan/hate mail from actual dwarves?

Blag: Every year or so a little person comes to the show and tells us how great we are. Then we make fun of them.

Lucy: Why do so many of the newer punk bands suck?

Blag: The old ones sucked, too. At least the new ones shower!

Lucy: What do you call your female groupies, Dwarfettes? Midgets? Gidgets?

Blag: "Lucky."

Lucy: What punk bands get respect from the all mighty Dwarves?

Blag: I saw the Ramones, Misfits, Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, Replacements, Violent Femmes, Gang of Four, Minor Threat. What was the question again?

Lucy: Your favorite Dwarves song is?

Blag: Dominator.

[Editor's note: "Dominator (live)" is playing all week at the Voodoo Beat myspace profile:].

Lucy: Do you think the Monkees should get into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?

Blag: Fuck yeah. I still have those cardboard 45s that came on the back of Honeycombs cereal. "Girl, look what you've done to me!"

Lucy: Have you ever considered covering that song from The Wizard of Oz that goes: "We represent the lollipop guild ..."?

Blag: No.

Lucy: Tell us a Dwarves secret, something no one knows about you guys.

Blag: I always fuck the girls who interview us!

Lucy: Good luck with that, you big Dwarf, but thank you so much for stopping by Mystery Island with all that sugary punk goodness. You are appreciated.

For more Dwarves madness check out:

"The Dwarves Blag Dahlia Interview" by Lucy Hell.
Edited/formatted by Bradley Mason Hamlin. Copyright © 2007 by Mystery Island Publications.
Published: 10.27.07 by Mystery Island.
All rights reserved.