EPISODE 014: MONSTER ZIPPER





Yuki Yoko Yoshimoto leaned over the port deck railing and said, “This whole trip’s gonna end up as one big monster zipper.”

Lucy took a sip from the straw sticking up out of her [unauthorized] tropical drink, then gently moved her sandy blonde hair back over her right ear and away from her face mask. “The Monster Zipper gang, you think they’re a part of this and the whole weird mushroom guy thing?”

“That’s what our sources say,” she said, “but that’s not exactly what I meant. It’s the metaphor they live by that messes with my head, but I shouldn’t let it bother me.”

Lucy had been looking at the seductive orange slice moon hanging overhead as the Edgar Cayce made way toward the South Pacific. “Huh?”

Yuki smiled. “Look, I know you’ve got powers, girl, but you might want to take this a little more seriously – these guys …”

“Those freaks,” said Lucy, “sent a killer robot, an ‘other worldly menace,’ and two gross blood-sucking vampires after me – and the worst thing that happened was like a broken nail.”

[See the senses-shattering first issue of Lucy Hell Devilgirl No. 1 for the horrific details!]





Yuki pulled the O-ring zipper on her black Secret Society jumpsuit a little higher toward the cleavage to fight off the night chill and sighed …

“You don’t think you had, maybe, a little super help with all that?”

Lucy frowned. “Not every time.”

“You know,” said Yuki, “you’ve got to be real careful with the vampire threats. Not all of them are bad evil.”

“Tell it to Buffy, as if. Vampires are dead, get it? They’re gross.”

Yuki smiled. “Anyway, this monster zipper thing, what I meant is … I’m worried that nothing will be as it seems. A monster zipper isn’t just that thing you accidentally see running up the monster’s back in a ‘B’ movie. These people live for confusion, the double-blind …”

“You mean,” said Lucy, “like when you accidentally see the bunny ears poking out of a magician’s coat pocket?”

“Well, yeah, or maybe when you catch a waitress picking up a fork from the floor and placing it on the table.”

“Star Trek puppets on strings!” said Lucy.

Yuki laughed. “Okay, I think you’ve got it.”

“Look,” said Lucy, “you think this whole thing is a trap and we’re actually being lured here by the Mushroom Man and not getting the drop on him like the boys wanna believe, right?”

Yuki looked surprised. “I guess the blondes really are the geniuses. You nailed it. That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” She eyed Lucy’s colorful drink. “You think you could get that cannibal waiter with the tight pants – you made friends with – bring another one of those?”

“Duh,” said Lucy.

“Anyways, I’m thinking of going brunette for awhile. You know, create a little monster zipper for the boys. It’s nice to keep them confused.”


To be continued ...



CLICK HERE FOR EPISODE: 015: HOURGLASS: MISTRESS OF TIME!



SECRET SOCIETY: MONSTER ZIPPER by Bradley Mason Hamlin.
Lucy Hell comic book art by Mort Todd!
Episode 014: "Monster Zipper."
Published Decemeber 29, 2009 by Mystery Island.
Copyright © 2009 by Mystery Island Publications. All rights reserved.


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