Lucy: Prostitutes! So many of the mind control units out there believe punk was a fad of the late 70s/early 80s and only reinvented by the Flipper-inspired ďgrungeĒ scene. What do you think of that nonsense and how did The Prostitutes fit in to the mess of the 1990s?

Kevin: It is complete nonsense, Flipper was okay but all you really need are 2 songs by them. Iím not a big Neil Young fan either, yawn. It was more like alternative rock. Punk rock will never be a fad. Itís music for fuck ups by fuck ups in the truest sense. We started a band because we didnít like what we were hearing and the whole fashion/glam 77 trip and closet case bar hero ďpunk bandsĒ made us sick. Oh well ... a bunch of cheap speed, cheap beer, and antisocial behavior and we were on our way.

Lucy: I like your comment about punk being music for fuck ups, but the early Flipper tunes were totally rad.

Anyway, let's MEET THE PROSTITUTES: (names/instruments played, favorite beer or piece of womenís clothing, etc.)

Kevin Prostitute: vocals, guitar, skin tight 70ís rock shirts.
Mike Damus: bass guitar, scarves.
Bryan Rivas: trap set, day glo wigs.

Lucy: Whereís the best place to score a prostitute in Pennsylvania and how much does it set you back?

Kevin: I would say 2nd street in Harrisburg, havenít been there in a decade. If youíre into the whole Jon and Kate, cracked out, toothless trip.

Lucy: Are you guys in L.A. now?

Kevin: Iím the only consistent member in the band and yeah weíre based in L.A. now. Itís great having rehearsal near the Galleria from Valley Girl. The band has existed with many line ups in PA, OH, RI, and now CA. Iím a transient punk rock hobo.

Lucy: Tell me about your big 7Ē inch ... record.

Kevin: Itís 4 brand new songs on 5 different colors of vinyl. Our best yet! Everything is turned up to 10 and raw as fuck. We recorded it in L.A. at Anvil Studios with Jeff Harris, located at the sound stage they used for Re-Animator. Joey Lawrence was there but blew us off. Whoa! What a creep ... Itís available in the States through Angry Young and Poor, Underground Medicine, and Stickfigure Distribution. Everyone should buy it; your girlfriend will love you in the morning. I swear.

Lucy: Is it true you guys played a homosexual game of Mouse Trap with Metal Mike of The Angry Samoans?

Kevin: Yes we have, Mike is my mentor. Iím asexual now, but we agreed to not talk about it in the public media.

Lucy: What is ďthe new cureĒ exactly?

Kevin: The new cure is the prescription written by me to cure co-dependency and narcissism. Unfortunately it only works out for one of the two people involved. Hijack the future and sleep comfortably with your regrets.

Lucy: Tell me about Hellís Tone Records? I didnít know I had my own record company! Do you guys really wanna ďgo to HellĒ?

Kevin: Hells Tone Records are run by the super cool Vesku out of Finland. Theyíve been doing whatever the fuck they want to for the past decade. One of my favorite bands, Barse, did a number of releases with them as well as a ton of other hardcore and punk outfits. Visit Vesku and his wife at www.myspace.com/hellstonerecords. Theyíre 100 percent independent and keep the label running by their complete dedication to underground music. L.A. county is always what I pictured hell to be, not bad, not bad at all. So yeah ... with multiple dimensions and beach included.

Lucy: Have you guys ever been to Finland?

Kevin: No, but we love all of their citizens.

Lucy: Whatís the greatest Prostitutes song of all time and why?

Kevin: My personal favorite is "I Wanna Go To Hell." It pretty much sums up my life to this point while being a great satanic bubble gum anthem. People seem to really dig it and I hope everyone destroys their lives in the same fashion while having a good soundtrack to do it to. Itís off of latest full length -- Kill Them Before They Eat -- which I think is the quintessential Prostitutes collection.

Lucy: Did you know thereís a band in France called Les Prostitutes? Itís true. Thereís also a rip-off band in Prague called The Prostitutes. Whatcha gonna do?

Kevin: Yes I do! Theyíve received hate mail from me already and I encourage others to do the same. It wouldíve taken 3 minutes of research to figure out the name was already taken. The French, Iíll leave alone. They're just young kids punking out, thatís cool. But the Czech ones are just lame, lame, lame, Strokes, joy division, King of Leon, Springsteen puke garbage. Post punk is a joke if you ask me. Like duh, the fucking Cure sold 10 million albums, how fucking underground!? Our releases sometimes get confused with theirs. SO THERE.

Lucy: The Cure is fucken rad too.

You guys have an album coming out soon from Sonic Jett Records?

Kevin: The 12Ē vinyl has been permanently delayed. Who knows when it will come out. The Compact Disc version is available on May Cause Dizziness Records. If thereís any takers out there drop a line. Joel Jett is a cool guy who ran the label but seems to have gone AWOL. It's punk rock music, Iím used to it.

Lucy: Tell me about your ďLolitaĒ video. Whatís that all about? Whatís the perfect age for a Prostitute fan girl?

Kevin: The video and song are basically about the teenage girl runaway who becomes co-dependent on an older, mentally twisted guy who represents this repulsive father figure. Not about me if youíre wondering; itís more of a dark character study. These things appeal to me. There is no age requirement, just the maturity of a dysfunctional adult. The days of teens running away really need to make a comeback. The public service announcements were classic. I donít think they could make do without the IPhone though. Running away from your problems does REALLY solve them. Iím an advocate of the mentality.

Lucy: If you guys could time travel way back to 1996 and change one thing, what would it be?

Kevin: I would go back and make sure I blacked out through the entire year. The mediocrity of it traumatizes me to this day. Check us out at www.myspace.com/thefuckinprostitutes. Mystery Island is our favorite read! Stay keen ...

Lucy: Thanks again for all the great entertainment throughout the years.

Kevin: Thanks for keeping real rock n roll writing alive! Long live the underground!

Lucy: Live long and prosper. :)

"The Prostitutes Interview" by Lucy Hell.
Edited/formatted by Bradley Mason Hamlin. © 2010 by Mystery Island Publications. Published: 02.04.10.
All rights reserved.

Photos of Lucy Hell property of Mystery Island. All rights reserved.