AGENTS OF KARMA!
EPISODE 011: FLOWERPOWER
“So,” said our senior member and co-founder of OPERATION: SECRET SOCIETY, “you can … transmute … anything into plant life?”
“I think so,” she said, “but I haven’t tried it on like everything.”
Eddie Crossbones grim thought balloon:
Another cute blonde in a mask, he thought. No doubt. No doubt I like it. She’s a sweet little thing. I just hope I never have to see the kid lying dead in a pool of her own blood because evil doesn’t give blondes a free pass in this world.
“People?” asked Eddie. “You can turn people into flowers?”
“Yeah,” she said, “I could do that but …”
Lucy shook her head at Eddie. “I'm sure she could totally do that for a bad evil person, obviously, but it's not like we're going to just ask her to burst someone into a boquet. Duh. Besides, you can totally turn a gun into a rose, right?”
“Yeah, for sure,” she said, “and I really don’t want to hurt any living thing.” Her eyes suddenly took on a surprisingly assertive tone. “But I would,” she said, “if I had to.”
“Well,” said Dr. Atlantis, “let’s try that gun thing.”
Agent Yuki Yoko Yoshimoto: Agents L7 and 86B report to Room 7A.”
Reluctantly as ever the two Society agents entered the room, after having been instructed to approach the contestant with Society-issue handguns.
Dr. Atlantis: “The agents have been instructed to take you out by any force necessary – short of killing you.”
A short but quiet moment ticked by, then Wendy aka “flowerpower” let out a little scream, sank to the floor, and covered her head with her gloved-hands.
The agents looked down on her. She didn’t move. Their eyes turned to question-marks as they stared up at the judges. What to do?
“Well,” said L7, “at least she’s not slapping us.”
“Or,” said 86B, “squirting knockout gas. Confidentially, I didn’t like that one.”
As the agents spoke Flowerpower casually removed her gloves, one hand over the head helping the other, then casually reaching out and touching the suit legs of the two agents.
“Need a hand?” said L7. “I think she’s feeling dizzy.”
“I can take care of myself,” she said, as the men’s clothes burst into a tangle of itchy, spiky, ragweed.
Agent L7 dropped his weapon and tore at his clothes, all the while choking back the want to scream.
Flowerpower stooped to pick up the gun but 86B had the drop on her.
“I may be in intense pain,” he said. “I may be itching like crazy.” He pointed the large barrel of the Society handgun at her.
“Uh huh,” she said, “what’s your point?”
He clenched his teeth. “I am not going to lose this one to …”
“What,” she said, “a girl? What are you going to do, shoot me with your big gun?”
“If you pick up that weapon I’ll be forced to injury you.”
The ragweed had now completely engulfed his clothes and his partner, thrashing on the floor, was quickly learning that rolling around in the spiky arms of the organic embrace hurt a whole lot more.
“Here,” she said, “let me fix it.” She reached out her hand as Agent L7 stood still. In truth, he didn’t think he could move, feeling increasingly uncomfortable as his clothes disappeared, naked in the grip of evil weed.
Wendy put one hand on the gun and whispered gently as the metal object turned into a daisy, her other hand on Agent 86B’s shoulder.
“Sorry,” she said, “I can’t make it go away, but it’s not poisonous.”
Agent L7, crawling toward his gun that was still a gun, said: “Feels like poison! Feels fatal! God, I itch!”
She reached down and turned his weapon into a red rose. She then walked over to the dais and handed the flower up to Lucy Hell, Devilgirl.
“Thank you,” said Lucy. “It’s beautiful.”
“Hey,” said Eddie, “no bribing the judges.”
Dr. Atlantis: “Yuki, please have our agents taken to sick bay immediately.”
Agent Yoshimoto: “Yes, sir.”
“I’m sorry,” said Wendy. “I was really just going to turn a glass of water into a flower.”
Atlantis nodded. “It’s all right. Witnessing how you manipulated the situation to your advantage was interesting, if not unfortunate for our security team.
“I think you’d make a most valuable addition to our gathering. You have a highly dangerous ability that needs … looking after.”
Lucy smelled the rose. “This is amazing, beyond the real thing, like a super rose.”
Wendy smiled. “Must have been a good gun.”
“Well,” said Eddie, “anything else we should know about you, like how you got your powers? Hobbies? What you eat for breakfast?”
“I actually can’t remember how I got my powers,” she said. “It’s … a blank. But, I’m a college graduate; I like to read trashy books and I eat red apples for breakfast.”
She pulled on her gloves. “So …”
Lucy Hell: “I vote yes, totally, all the way. Let’s enter our digital vote things into the machine and meet the next person that isn’t going to win because flowerpower is so much better.”
Agent Yoshimoto: “You may exit to the right after the judges enter their votes.”
She didn't have to wait long.
DR. ATLANTIS: YES
EDDIE CROSSBONES: YES
As Wendy left the room two agents lurking nearby moved silently and quickly in the opposite direction.
Agent 111: “I hear she turns guys into grass and that Dominatrix chick stomps on ‘em.”
Agent 049: “Somehow that sounds better than getting slapped by a guy in a pink flamingo costume.”
Agent 111: “Cute girl though.”
Agent 049: “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind seeing her and that Devilgirl in a …”
The men, in their skylarking haze, hadn’t noticed they walked right into Agent Adams, aka “White Lightning.”
They couldn’t see his eyes for his shades, but he didn’t look amused. “You were saying?”
Agent 111: “Huh?”
“About Devilgirl, you were saying …”
Agent 049: “Ah, we were saying how she’d really make a good influence, is a great influence on, you know, the other …”
“Respect,” said Adams, “is more powerful than fear.”
They didn’t respond because they didn’t know what to say and Agent Adams didn’t fill in the blanks as the uncomfortable moment of silence passed.
“You fellas wanna get assigned to the Mushroom Man case?”
Agent 111: “Oh, uh, no, no, but thank you, sir. We’ve got work to do, rounds and reports.”
Agent 049: “Reports … and rounds. Work.”
Agent Adams walked away, so full of whisky from his last case he was already forgetting why he stopped to chat.
Agent 111: “What do you think he meant about fear and respect?”
Agent 049: “I have no idea.”
And so ends another thrilling chapter in lives of your friends and mine, THE SECRET SOCIETY and the AGENTS OF KARMA!
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SECRET SOCIETY: AGENTS OF KARMA!
Created/written by Bradley Mason Hamlin.
Art [usually] by MORT TODD.
Secret Society: Agents of Karma Episode 011: flowerpower. Published September 14, 2010 by Mystery Island.
Copyright © 2010 by Mystery Island Publications. All rights reserved.
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