AGENTS OF KARMA!
EPISODE 006: THE FABULOUS PINK FLAMINGO!
Eddie Crossbones looked at his watch. “What’s taking this guy so long?”
“Maybe,” said Dr. Atlantis, “this was a bad idea.”
Lucy Hell sighed. “Come on, there has been some good ones. Some. Good ones.”
The doors slid open and the voice of Agent Yuki Yoko Yoshimoto echoed over the 1MC speaker: “Okay judges, we have here a Mr. Chad Chazwick, otherwise known as …”
Chad gracefully glided into the room, interrupting Agent Yoshimoto and introducing himself:
“The Fabulous Pink Flamingo!”
Agent Crossbones cleared his ghostly throat. He had been around a long, long time, seen it all. He had fought the toughest pirates the world had to offer – from America all the way to the Barbary coast. He had fought and killed Count Blato, the deadliest vampire in all the legions of the undead. He fought the vicious White Owl of Nazi Germany and had more recently taken out Frankenstein 9’s Apollo Robot and fought off the Sinister Spook … and now … he was forced to sit still while a young man in a pink suit (and red bow tie) stood before him, strangely cocking his head with obvious attitude while leaning on a flamingo-head cane.
“I love the cane!” said Lucy. “Seriously.”
“You obviously have good taste,” said the Fabulous Pink Flamingo. “Sorry I’m late, last minute change of attire. I was totally going to freak you out by wearing an actual flamingo costume. You know,” he said, “flamingo head on top of my head, feathers, that sort of thing.”
“Abilities?” asked Atlantis. “What can you do?”
“I bitch slap people.”
He spoke slowly, very slowly, as if Dr. Atlantis had a learning disability. “Bitch … sa … lap … pee … ple.”
“Okay,” said Eddie, “can I see that Squid guy again?”
“Mr. skeleton man sounds like he got up on the wrong side of the mausoleum this morning.”
Lucy was laughing. “So, you actually slap people?”
“Only when they piss me off. I like your hair.”
“And,” said Dr. Atlantis, “this ability of yours is special, how?”
“Bring some of your little agents in here and I’ll show you. It’s all in the wrist. Okay if they’re armed, that will only motivate the action.”
“How many?” Lucy asked.
“I can do four tough guys.”
Lucy looked up toward the speaker on the wall. “Yuki?”
Agent Yoshimoto: “Agents L7, 86B, 987, and 31Q report to Room 7A.”
Normally the agents, stationed outside, would enter almost instantly, yet, they weren’t showing up.
“That squid thing,” said Eddie. “They weren’t ready for that. Nobody’s in a rush to guinea pig again.”
“Can I just,” said the Fabulous Pink Flamingo, “use the bathroom before they get here? Hello, gotta go.”
Yuki opened the door.
“I long for the ocean bottom,” said Atlantis.
Agents L7, 86B, 987, and 31Q, dressed now in common thug attire, (with knives) reluctantly waited for the return of the new recruit that intended on slapping them in the face.
“Well,” said L7, “a little judo and it’s goodbye Flamingo Boy.”
It happened much quicker than anyone had anticipated. The Fabulous Pink Flamingo – now dressed in the ridiculous costume he had earlier described – swooped into the room with the speed and skill of an Olympic level ballet dancer and slapped all four men before they could blink.
Knives flew out of hands and 31Q and 987 fell to the floor seemingly unconscious as L7 and 86B stood, stunned, unarmed, and deeply red faced.
“Okay,” said 86B, “I’m seriously gonna look for new work.”
“That was awesome,” said Lucy, “just so … awesome. I vote yes.”
“No,” said Eddie Crossbones. “No, no, no.”
Dr. Atlantis shook his helmeted head in a negative response as well.
“Whatever,” said Lucy. “If he were a girl in a sexy costume you’d probably say yes.”
Agent Yoshimoto: “There’s a woman in a dominatrix costume with a whip in the waiting room. Should I send her in next?”
Chad Chazwick stood on one leg, cocked his head, pursed his lips and said, "The Fabulous Pink Flamingo will return!"
Then he did that strange but smooth slide toward the exit ...
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SECRET SOCIETY: AGENTS OF KARMA!
Created/written by Bradley Mason Hamlin.
Art by MORT TODD.
Secret Society: Agents of Karma Episode 006: The Fabulous Pink Flamingo. Published July 14, 2010 by Mystery Island.
Copyright © 2010 by Mystery Island Publications. All rights reserved.
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